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 Random thread for letting off stem

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The Eye
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PostSubject: Random thread for letting off stem   Mon Nov 10, 2008 3:53 am

No on-topic eg. continuous posts please!
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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:06 am

I taught the only things that let off stems were of a botanical variety?

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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:27 am

Who'd you teach it to?
SPCA:SALAMI PRODUCERS CATERING ASSOCIATION

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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:43 am


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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:13 am

I obviously didn't tortoise to you....
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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Sat Nov 15, 2008 12:57 am

A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.

He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."

So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.

When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren

...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:51 am


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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:06 pm

EMOTICON OVERLOAD!!!
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised Shocked Cool Laughing Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink Exclamation Question Idea Arrow Neutral What a Face Like a Star @ heaven Suspect I love you No @ cyclops clown pirat tongue silent pale alien cat monkey pig rabbit bounce confused affraid Basketball cheers bom drunken Sleep sunny albino cherry santa rendeer farao king queen jocolor geek scratch study elephant flower lol! Black Mana Green Mana White Mana Red Mana Blue Mana Blue Mana Hybrid B/G Hybrid B/R Hybrid G/U Hybrid G/W Hybrid R/G Hybrid R/W Snow Mana Tap Symbol Hybrid U/B Untap Symbol Hybrid U/R Hybrid W/B Hybrid W/U X Mana W/U/B/R/G

afro afro afro afro afro afro afro afro afro afro afro afro afro

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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Sun Nov 30, 2008 8:06 pm

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa.

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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Sun Nov 30, 2008 8:22 pm

santa Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Mon Dec 01, 2008 6:32 am

How do you bum out a quadriplegic amputee?
Go up to him and say " Double jumping high five!"

not sure if I've said that one at a gathering.

Spoiler:
 
Spoiler:
 

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In mystic force and magic spelling
Celestial sprites elucidate
All my own striving can't relate.

It be pi!


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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Mon Dec 01, 2008 7:37 am

Spoiler:
 

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Sir, I bear a rhyme excelling
In mystic force and magic spelling
Celestial sprites elucidate
All my own striving can't relate.

It be pi!
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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Mon Dec 01, 2008 9:15 pm

Ah, classics.

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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Thu Dec 25, 2008 6:14 am

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.

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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Thu Dec 25, 2008 9:59 am

If only afro was a card!
I'd play "Leyline of singularity" & then play another afro

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PostSubject: Re: Random thread for letting off stem   Thu Dec 25, 2008 10:56 pm

I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.
- Michel de Montaigne

I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.
- Bethania McKenstry

No degree of dullness can safeguard a work against the determination of critics to find it fascinating.
- Harold Rosenberg

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